Start Empty

I want to start empty. Not just the room, but me. Nothing in it has been decided yet, and that is the whole appeal. I could fill it, and filling is the easy direction. It runs one way. Getting back to empty costs far more than moving away from it ever did, which is why staying empty has to be a choice and not a pause.

It was never the things that made my life rich. It's intention, and where I put my attention. So I keep asking what brings me joy, present tense, not what brought me joy once and has been coasting on that ever since. And joy doesn't arrive on its own. It's something I do. I have to notice it, name where it came from, and let it register. What I don't perceive never reaches me.

So I keep facing what I let in, one thing at a time, and that's only possible when little is in the way. Empty isn't what's missing. It's where I can see.